The Beach
At last after the smells and freaks of Bangkok and foraging around in the bush (not that kind) up North we finally made it to the islands and rocked up at Koh Samui about 5 days ago. Arriving at midnight wasn't the best form and we got stitched up with the last remaining bungalow with only a double bed so spoons it was with me and the Ozzy boy although I did insist on being the spooner rather than the spoonee. Better to be the plug than the socket.

Koh Samui is the largest of the Thai islands and it shows. Again the main street is awash with diesel jeans, quicksilver boardies and juicy bikinis all quite clearly 'Genuine' and all ranging in price from about 4 to 20 quid depending on your bartering skills. Being raised as a Blackpool boy these goons don't fool me and I snapped up a couple of pairs of Billabong shorts for a tenner - result I thought only to find my first pair ripped after 1 days usage! The rest of Samui is a bit toss in honesty. Rented a scooter and almost immediately killed myself. Yep course i've ridden before I assured the owner as I pulled out a bit too sharply into oncoming traffic. Second thoughts best go back and get a helmet!

The 'attractions' in Samui are few and far between and the Grandfather and Grandmother rocks were the first pitstop. These were supposed to resemble male and female genitalia although the erection wasn't exactly the most impressive i've ever seen (leave it) and I couldn't even find the female parts (not for the first time). Next stop the famous waterfall and I was picturing the scene from Cocktail, you know Elisabeth Shue whipping off the bikini top to show the ample curves that was pretty much every teenage boys first bit of material in my day, obviously with the exception of Wincy Willis showing you her warm front. Alas after a 20 minute scoot the waterfall was sans water and we were looking at more of a trickles than a falls.

After that spent the next couple of days at the beach and that was the place to be. It was pretty quiet over in Samui but we did end up meeting some Canadians (loads of them over here) and a couple of Israeli guys who've just finished their 4 years National service (didn't mess). Frank the tank was on good form and although I declined to do the naked dash through town I did comfortably drink these boys under the table and stayed up to see Chelsea play Barcelona til 5am.

Am now in Ko Pha Ngan getting fired up for the full moon party this Sunday. There is noticably a lot more ladies on this island and it is noticably much much younger than me! Am meeting up with a friend from London probably tonight (that's Kate if Off and John are reading) and am thinking I may well get on the buckets of Thai whiskey (turned out to be a bad idea!). I'm sort of working on a one night on one night off drinking thing but am drinking far far less than in London which leads me to think maybe it was you lot who were the bad influences! It also has something to do with the chilled out movie bars over here where you literally just rock up in a bar, sprawl over these little cushion things and watch the latest films whilst sipping away on a local brew - what a life!

Will check in if i'm still alive after this weekend, Ozzy dude is keen to try some magic mushroom shakes tomorrow so it may be Monday by the time i'm thinking straight again. If you see a random entry about trees attacking me or giant monkeys smoking cigars then you'll know that the mushroom shit was good!