On the Buses
Ok so being a traveller I expected to be using a lot of buses and went into this whole game pretty open minded about the whole shebang but I'm now getting to the point where I can understand why I have spent so much on cabs over the last 7 years! Let me just fill you in with a few reasons for my hatred of all things bus like:
1 - Horn beeping - In our civilised country a horn is used if you are about to mow someone down or if you see a tasty young filly on the pavement. In this place the driver uses his horn at every possible opportunity even though he has ample room to round mopeds or people and there is no need whatsoever to do so. Especially at 2am 10 hours into a journey when all you want to do is fucking sleep!
2 - Space Invaders - Having spent about 80 hours on buses in the past 2 weeks I have had enough of the fucking locals. Why they feel the urge to sit cross legged on the seat next to you, to tickle your feet with theirs as you try to kip and to sporadically brush against you is beyond me. And this is just the blokes! Next one to do it is getting a shoeing!
3 - Pit stops - With many lengthy journeys it is necessary to stop for a bit of food from time to time. However rather than stop at a perfectly decent restaurant or cafe in any town you are always ushered into the drivers mates shack and penned in and forced to order the overpriced rat fried rice shit that is serbed up from the kitchen/toilet section of this dodgy shithole. Excuse my French but i've had enough of this crap and as a result have been living off a diet of water, mentos and m and m's on my bus routes. The fact that SE Asia also has such crap snacks means you are doubly grumpy on the journey. And for the record I am 99% convinced that I did eat rat last night, considering on the way back from the loo/kitchen I saw the son of the family killing one in the alley!
4 - Arriving at destination - Similar to restaurants, you are always dropped at the drivers cousins shite overpriced hotel. No I don't want to fucking stay here. It's 12 miles from town and the rooms are wank, now drive on numpty boy!
5 - Entertainment - You may think that the land that flogs knocked off DVD's for next to nothing and has all the latest releases before they are out may stick one on to their DVD and TV during a 17 hour journey. Apparently not for it appears that Vietnams answer to Jane cruiseliner Karaoke whatshername is much better value. The fact that she even drowns out your ipod actually led me to bellow an obscenity last night. Mind you it did get turned down so that I could hear melodic Celine Dion through the ipod again - perfect.
The buses may be cheap as chips and may get you from A to B but in honesty I can't wait to get back on a plane for my next couple of legs of the tour. See you on Thursday Tommy when I fly back from Hanoi to Bangkok in the comfort of Vietnam airlines chariot of the sky!
Ok so being a traveller I expected to be using a lot of buses and went into this whole game pretty open minded about the whole shebang but I'm now getting to the point where I can understand why I have spent so much on cabs over the last 7 years! Let me just fill you in with a few reasons for my hatred of all things bus like:
1 - Horn beeping - In our civilised country a horn is used if you are about to mow someone down or if you see a tasty young filly on the pavement. In this place the driver uses his horn at every possible opportunity even though he has ample room to round mopeds or people and there is no need whatsoever to do so. Especially at 2am 10 hours into a journey when all you want to do is fucking sleep!
2 - Space Invaders - Having spent about 80 hours on buses in the past 2 weeks I have had enough of the fucking locals. Why they feel the urge to sit cross legged on the seat next to you, to tickle your feet with theirs as you try to kip and to sporadically brush against you is beyond me. And this is just the blokes! Next one to do it is getting a shoeing!
3 - Pit stops - With many lengthy journeys it is necessary to stop for a bit of food from time to time. However rather than stop at a perfectly decent restaurant or cafe in any town you are always ushered into the drivers mates shack and penned in and forced to order the overpriced rat fried rice shit that is serbed up from the kitchen/toilet section of this dodgy shithole. Excuse my French but i've had enough of this crap and as a result have been living off a diet of water, mentos and m and m's on my bus routes. The fact that SE Asia also has such crap snacks means you are doubly grumpy on the journey. And for the record I am 99% convinced that I did eat rat last night, considering on the way back from the loo/kitchen I saw the son of the family killing one in the alley!
4 - Arriving at destination - Similar to restaurants, you are always dropped at the drivers cousins shite overpriced hotel. No I don't want to fucking stay here. It's 12 miles from town and the rooms are wank, now drive on numpty boy!
5 - Entertainment - You may think that the land that flogs knocked off DVD's for next to nothing and has all the latest releases before they are out may stick one on to their DVD and TV during a 17 hour journey. Apparently not for it appears that Vietnams answer to Jane cruiseliner Karaoke whatshername is much better value. The fact that she even drowns out your ipod actually led me to bellow an obscenity last night. Mind you it did get turned down so that I could hear melodic Celine Dion through the ipod again - perfect.
The buses may be cheap as chips and may get you from A to B but in honesty I can't wait to get back on a plane for my next couple of legs of the tour. See you on Thursday Tommy when I fly back from Hanoi to Bangkok in the comfort of Vietnam airlines chariot of the sky!
posted by Freely at 1:31 AM
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