Buenos Aires week of madness part two
After the thrills of La Boca and the spillages on our crazy tequila session it was time to step slightly into the culture zone and be as one with the locals. So with ponchos and gumboots at the ready we headed off to a Gaucho ranch to join the cowboys and ensure that Caz could fulfil her lifelong wish of getting me to sit on a bloody horse.
Now I am not proud and I have no shame. I won´t lie to you I was absolutely bricking it as the minibus made it´s way towards El Gauchos stables. This was quite possibly the longest 90 minutes of my life. In case you don´t know I am allergic to horses, well cats and horses to be precise. If you ever read my passport or any medical forms I have had to fill in you would know that under allergies, cats and horses make a regular appearance. People have told me that apparently it´s medical allergies you are supposed to mention but you can never be too careful my friends.
Anyway back to the ranch and we arrived there along with about 50 other random tourists and were ushered into the gates. Immediately I spotted the enemy, about 50 dosile looking nags plodding aimlessly around a field under what appeared to be some kind of drug induced semi coma. I had popped my anti histamine pill half an hour earlier and Caz has given me the instructions for successful allergy avoidance. The fear of turning into the elephant man was being slightly outweighed now by the fact that I had to go and mount one of these beasts although there was no turning back, especially as I spotted a 20 stone American grandad eagerly mounting a poor little grey nag, who almost buckled under the weight of the double cheeseburger munching yank. If he´s getting on then there´s not a chance i´m wimping out!
The moment had come and out I stepped, swung my leg over and mounted the vicious beast. I know that horses can apparently sense fear so I tried to pretend that this was as natural a thing as possible to me. However old Red Rum was wise to my beginner status and gave a couple of sharp tugs on the reins. Not to be outdone, although clueless as to what to do, I tugged him back (not like that) and he seemed to settle slightly. After that it went like a breeze and after a quick plod down the hill I had the beast into a trot, canter and then a blistering gallop through the meadow with the wind blowing through my hair and ´Take my Breath Away´ blasting out in the background.
Well maybe it wasn´t quite like that. I sat on the thing and it followed all the other nags around a field before he dropped me back at the start about 5 minutes later. The highlight of the trip was when it tried to bite another horses arse much to the annoyance of the other fella. However it mattered not for I had successfully ridden a horse and stayed on, my head hadn´t turned into Elephant man status and another box had been ticked. As I dismounted the tamed beast I felt like I had won the Grand National and slightly over zealously almost stacked it when my foot stayed in the stirrup. Not the coolest dismount but just about managed to keep it together. Get in there horse whispering Freel jockey! And I must say seeing all 6 of us on horseback with some rather fetching helmets was worth the experience in itself!
After the thrills of La Boca and the spillages on our crazy tequila session it was time to step slightly into the culture zone and be as one with the locals. So with ponchos and gumboots at the ready we headed off to a Gaucho ranch to join the cowboys and ensure that Caz could fulfil her lifelong wish of getting me to sit on a bloody horse.
Now I am not proud and I have no shame. I won´t lie to you I was absolutely bricking it as the minibus made it´s way towards El Gauchos stables. This was quite possibly the longest 90 minutes of my life. In case you don´t know I am allergic to horses, well cats and horses to be precise. If you ever read my passport or any medical forms I have had to fill in you would know that under allergies, cats and horses make a regular appearance. People have told me that apparently it´s medical allergies you are supposed to mention but you can never be too careful my friends.
Anyway back to the ranch and we arrived there along with about 50 other random tourists and were ushered into the gates. Immediately I spotted the enemy, about 50 dosile looking nags plodding aimlessly around a field under what appeared to be some kind of drug induced semi coma. I had popped my anti histamine pill half an hour earlier and Caz has given me the instructions for successful allergy avoidance. The fear of turning into the elephant man was being slightly outweighed now by the fact that I had to go and mount one of these beasts although there was no turning back, especially as I spotted a 20 stone American grandad eagerly mounting a poor little grey nag, who almost buckled under the weight of the double cheeseburger munching yank. If he´s getting on then there´s not a chance i´m wimping out!
The moment had come and out I stepped, swung my leg over and mounted the vicious beast. I know that horses can apparently sense fear so I tried to pretend that this was as natural a thing as possible to me. However old Red Rum was wise to my beginner status and gave a couple of sharp tugs on the reins. Not to be outdone, although clueless as to what to do, I tugged him back (not like that) and he seemed to settle slightly. After that it went like a breeze and after a quick plod down the hill I had the beast into a trot, canter and then a blistering gallop through the meadow with the wind blowing through my hair and ´Take my Breath Away´ blasting out in the background.
Well maybe it wasn´t quite like that. I sat on the thing and it followed all the other nags around a field before he dropped me back at the start about 5 minutes later. The highlight of the trip was when it tried to bite another horses arse much to the annoyance of the other fella. However it mattered not for I had successfully ridden a horse and stayed on, my head hadn´t turned into Elephant man status and another box had been ticked. As I dismounted the tamed beast I felt like I had won the Grand National and slightly over zealously almost stacked it when my foot stayed in the stirrup. Not the coolest dismount but just about managed to keep it together. Get in there horse whispering Freel jockey! And I must say seeing all 6 of us on horseback with some rather fetching helmets was worth the experience in itself!
posted by Freely at 10:28 AM
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