Kennedy sends me out in style!

Chapter 1 was South East Asia and I snook through tunnels in Vietnam, braved the killing fields of Cambodia, survived the beer and tubes of Laos and even managed to avoid arrest and ladyboys in Thailand despite all efforts to the contrary.

Chapter 2 took me to Sydney where I managed to witness England winning not 1 but 2 cricket matches against the Ozzies, to New Zealand where I managed not to snap the bungy cord, to Hong Kong where I somehow survived the sevens weekend and then back to Oz where I came face to face with sharks, turtles and rays and fell out of a bunkbed! Eventually I made it down to Melbourne and the last 2 nights of the chapter. I thought I was worldly wise, I had seen it all and nothing could phase me any longer but I had obviously underestimated the power of the Neighbours night!

Yep folks in an English pub in glitzy old St Kilda the cast of Neighbours have decided to cash in on their celebrity. Conscious of the fact that UK crowds will go mad for a sneaky peek of the Bish, the cunning Ozzies hold their own night every Monday at the Elephant and Wheelbarrow boozer and without fail every week it is an absolute sell out! So, in anticipation of a possible rendez vous with Kylie, Natalie Imbruglia or fingers crossed maybe even Mrs Mangel I secured my ticket and got myself down there.

As I walked in the place was mobbed and I had to fight my way through the hoards to get a place near the front. Luckily my accomplice was skilled at barging through crowds and within seconds had magically negotiated her way to front row action. An Ozzy version of Peter Kay without the humour was on the mic introducing the festivites and before you know it the first guest. As the crowd held their breath it turned out that Libby Kennedy was coming out and was gonna sing a few songs for us as a bit of a treat, get in there, always a fan of old Libby and I tell you what she was looking even finer in real life. She belted out a few crackers and I swear she was eyeing me up and then old chubber came back out to introduce the rest of the stars.

Next up was some trailer park runt going by the name of Dylan. He apparently hasn´t been in the show for a year or so and I don´t think he´s been doing much in that time apart from maybe coming to these nights and trying to bang the odd backpacker or two but I guess they need someone for the younger audience, personally he didn´t even get a nod from me. The third and final guest was being built up and the build up was good, we were being teed up for a superstar and the excitement was getting too much. I could even feel a trickle of pee escape as I stood in anticipation!

Ladies and Gentlemen put your hands together for...........Doctor Karl Kennedy! Well I have never seen a place erupt like it! I´ve seen England play at Wembley, the Chilli Peppers at Earls Court, even the All Blacks in front of their home crowd but nothing competes to the sheer shrieking and deafening reception reserved for the Doc, a week later and my ears are still bleeding! The man epitomised youth, everyone wanted him, I wanted him to be my dad and the girl next to me wanted him so much she started crying! The doc lapped up the applause and pirouetted on the floor like a man half his age in his trendy Converse pumps.
The night was set and the beers flowed. In a silly moment of abstinence I was off the pop but I wasn´t missing a slither of fun. The Neighbours quiz went on in the background while the stars circulated and an 18 year old girl won a trip down the great ocean road by sticking her tongue down a terrified boys throat. Libby Kennedy smiled at me again and I was lost for words and the doc got mobbed everywhere he moved. I was starting to feel sorry for the poor little chav boy who was almost forcing himself on people to take his photo. The crowd were drinking it all up, along with the cheap schooners but the main event was yet to come, Dr Kennedy and his band Waiting Room were going to perform live!

I know it´s unreal isn´t it! The moment came and the lights dimmed and out they came, Waiting Room followed by the doc himself. The man seriously has more energy than 10 Duracell bunnies and he ripped through some covers like a man possessed. Then came a couple of Waiting Rooms own tracks, with one in particular a tribute to some love triangle he was in proving a major highlight. He finished with a kind of Jive Bunny megamix Livin on a Prayer/Hey Jude medley and the cherry was firmly planted on the top of the cake. The night was a roaring success and it was all down to the Doc. Well worth the 40 dollar charge and I would thoroughly recommend it to any visitor to Melbourne. Say bollocks to the comedy festival and bugger the Jazz crap, Monday night in the Wheelbarrow is where it´s at and if you´re lucky you may even get to shag Toadfish!