Argy Bargy Weirdy Beardy
Men when they travel do some weird things. Facial hair for one, there are people with all kinds of different ridiculous growths out here. I mean in Australia there were people trying it but most of them were about twelve and the best they could do was resemble an asian teenage girl with a bit of dark bumfluff. Not so in the land of big cows, man sweat and mountains where you would definitely get a fair few contenders at a travellers beard growing competition. You know what I mean the crazy German fellas who have an annual beard and muzzy comp and you´ve got all sorts of ensembles from the lamb chop sideys that meet a curly tache to the big fat slug tache with a bit of a gay goaty (Ozzy favourite). Anyway not to be outdone and in need of asserting my manhood I joined the buggers and decided on a bit of beardage.
Tell you what though after a few days it doesn´t half itch and I was starting to think I may not pull through. Can´t wimp out at the first hurdle though so onwards I ploughed and the bush began to blossom. The crunch came when just as I was admiring my facial garden and beginning to think I was a bit of a contender in the man beard stakes in walked some tree hugging prancer to piss all over my bonfire. Now this bugger not only had much more beardage than I but had also managed to fold one of those things girls use in their barnet to hold it back and had made a little kind of bobbly thing on his chin!
Wanker was my initial thought and pretty much still is and off I went to trim my plume although to maintain a little pride and dignity I still retained a good sized facial stubble to avoid the ultimate humiliation of being clean shaven in South America. I mean travellers do some stupid things but i´ve always told myself that there´s no way i´d fall into any of those brackets, some of the muppets even go and get tattoos as well, imagine that!
Men when they travel do some weird things. Facial hair for one, there are people with all kinds of different ridiculous growths out here. I mean in Australia there were people trying it but most of them were about twelve and the best they could do was resemble an asian teenage girl with a bit of dark bumfluff. Not so in the land of big cows, man sweat and mountains where you would definitely get a fair few contenders at a travellers beard growing competition. You know what I mean the crazy German fellas who have an annual beard and muzzy comp and you´ve got all sorts of ensembles from the lamb chop sideys that meet a curly tache to the big fat slug tache with a bit of a gay goaty (Ozzy favourite). Anyway not to be outdone and in need of asserting my manhood I joined the buggers and decided on a bit of beardage.
Tell you what though after a few days it doesn´t half itch and I was starting to think I may not pull through. Can´t wimp out at the first hurdle though so onwards I ploughed and the bush began to blossom. The crunch came when just as I was admiring my facial garden and beginning to think I was a bit of a contender in the man beard stakes in walked some tree hugging prancer to piss all over my bonfire. Now this bugger not only had much more beardage than I but had also managed to fold one of those things girls use in their barnet to hold it back and had made a little kind of bobbly thing on his chin!
Wanker was my initial thought and pretty much still is and off I went to trim my plume although to maintain a little pride and dignity I still retained a good sized facial stubble to avoid the ultimate humiliation of being clean shaven in South America. I mean travellers do some stupid things but i´ve always told myself that there´s no way i´d fall into any of those brackets, some of the muppets even go and get tattoos as well, imagine that!
posted by Freely at 7:03 AM
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