Random Poems!

21/6/07 - Flight to Santa Cruz from Sao Paolo

It´s exciting now i´ll be home in three weeks
Away from the travels and away from the freaks
To be honest most people are nothing but nice
Yet after 9 months of small talk i´m paying the price
Fantasies of sitting with friends in the pub
With familiar banter and some good English grub
Bangers and mash drowned with gravy and mustard
The thought of that now is getting me flustered
But friends are the thing that i´ve truly missed most
Then not far behind is a good Sunday roast
Everyone says that our English food is shit
But fuck Johnny foreigner I bloody miss it
Salt n Vinegar discos and real fucking sweets
In the 20 countries i´ve been to nothing competes
2 quid for worcester sauce wheat crunchies in Sydney
I was getting so desperate i´d have given a kidney!
And why is there no salt n vinegar in Asia
Their lack of imagination would truly amaze you
There´s cash to be made, you heard it first here
Set a crisp factory up, you´ll be minted in a year
I never thought i´d say it but i´m craving routine
After 9 months of freedom and all the places i´ve been
I really can´t wait to get back to a job
To get back in the gym and the familiar slog
I´ve hardly played sport all the time i´ve been away
And before I left home it was almost every day
So it´s straight back to rugger and the 5 a side beat
Mind you 10 minutes in i´ll be dead on my feet
London is calling from a far away town
But still 3 weeks to go and time to get brown
Can´t wait to see you all in early July
But until then amigos I bid you goodbye!

Home time - Rio 17/6/07

I really just can´t be arsed anymore
With the idle chit chat it´s a fucking bore
I´ve been away too long the enthusiasms gone
In all honesty i´m pretty much done
Everywhere you go it´s the same opening line
"Where have you been? Oh your trips just like mine!"
I just want to be sat in the pub with my mates
Talking about shit and the last week of dates
The gap year tree huggers have finished me off
Quit at the top when you know it´s enough
The last three days have been really long and hard
And i´m slowly turning into a social retard
It´s just not me and it´s time to move on
Get back to London and back having some fun
After this long away it´s been a great ride
But for the first time i´m homesick and it´s burning inside
There´s so many people I can´t wait to see
But most of all I can´t wait to get back being me
As Off would put it "Enough of this shit!
Get back to SW and get on with it!"

HK7 - Rio 17/6/07

Lifesize superhero downing a hot pie
Laughing so hard I did actually cry
Kinky policewomen waving truncheons at me
So much smoke in the bogs I can´t see myself pee
Giant jugs of beer fly through the air
Bouncing from heads but no-one has a care
Twenty thousand people all out of their mind
Every corner you turn no idea what you´ll find
Pirates and french maids shout abuse at each other
So much love in the place every man is your brother
This is crazy, the biggest fancy dress show on earth
Everyone shouting and screaming for all that it´s worth
People queue for hours to enter this arena
Complete and utter carnage such a pleasure to have been there
South stand, Hong Kong Sevens, arrive early, find a seat
Then sit back and enjoy, feast your eyes on this treat
There´s rugby taking place but you wont notice that
Too busy downing beer out of a cast iron divers hat
3 says of solid partying that you will never ever forget
Although you probably wont remember any of the people you met
It will hurt - almost kill you, but it´s worth all the pain
Because an experience like this you will never have again!

Skydive - 21/6/07 Take off Santa Cruz to La Paz

What a way to feel alive
Taupo, New Zealand, my first skydive
After bungy jumping the day before
Confidence was high I was hungry for more
No messing about we gave them our cash
Watched a quick vid and were out in a flash
Into our suits, some last minute tips
Bend like a banana and thrust out your hips
We chose our tunes for the dvd
Quick interview and then we were ready
The two Emilys sat opposite me
Si had been before so it was just us three
As we boarded the plane painted flourescent pink
The ten minute flight gave us all time to think
I was cool as ice with no fear at all
And couldn´t wait for the pending freefall
My Canadian instructor was an absolute dude
Everything was mad, wicked and rude!
We chatted away as we climbed in the sky
The feeling was good and excitement was high
I was first out and went on to the edge
Arched my back, looked out with feet under the ledge
As quick as a whippet I was out of the plane
Adrenaline rushed to my heart and my brain
Not a cloud in the sky, a beautiful world below
45 seconds of freefall was "Sweet as bro!"
The chute snapped open and my balls took a whack
As the harness jolted right up my crack
My eyes stopped watering and I admired the surrounding
The views from the sky were truly astounding
As we cruised to the earth I took one last look around
Floated down like a feather and was back on the ground
What an exhiliarating buzz, an absolute blast
Just a shame that the journey was over so fast.

Viviens La Paz - 16/6/07

On the worldwide drug scale Columbia tops the list
In terms of policing La Paz has been missed
Viviens bar is as weird as they come
Where else will they serve up cocaine with your rum
Vivien herself was passed out on the couch
After years of abuse as her face seemed to vouch
Driving past from outside you would never know it was there
This dungeon of depravity where no-one has a care
As you enter through the kitchen watch your head on the door
It´s like America in prohibition back in 1924
The decor looks like it´s the same it was then
There´s no question you´re now in a dark, dingy den
But as with places like this there´s a warmth hard to explain
The people are real and you can feel their pain
This is their relief from their toils on the street
People on the outside you would never wish to meet
But inside Viviens house every punter is the same
Escaping reality playing life as a game
The odds here are high and everyone will score
With the goal to get high and the playing field pure
It´s low key boogienights without the glamour and porn
Rollergirl has no skates and her features are worn
The glitterball on the dance floor creaks on it´s hinges
Like an ageing addict after one too many binges
As time fades away in this huge powdering room
The zombies drift out and away from the tomb
Viviens has done it´s service for one more long night
And the underbelly of La Paz can continue their fight.