Jack Osborne My Arse!

If that fucked up American bat munchers son can do it then so can I! That's pretty much been my motto thus far in NZ and in my first week it's seen me leap off a perfectly stable 50m platform head first towards the river below with just a giant laccy band tied to my ankles, brave white water eel infested rapids in a giant rubber ring and hop out of a perfectly sound plane from 12000ft with a Canadian rock dude strapped to my back! I've now arrived in Rotorua and will be bundling down a hill in a giant ball and speeding down some mountains in an old school souped up go kart today, tough times!

I shit you not I have never bricked it as much as I did when presented with the opportunity to bungy. After doing that the rest has been a joy and a breeze and sky diving yesterday was absolutely sensational. I'm now debating becoming an instructor and living the life of a skydiver for a couple of years, all it will take is a few more grand in the account (any willing investors?) and maybe some extra time in NZ!

As many of you are aware heights are not my most favoured of places. Generally speaking I get a nose bleed at the top of the stairs so finding myself peering down into a gorge from 50m up was not particularly filling me with excitement. It was big Si's idea to stop and have a look and as soon as we stepped out of the car all 4 of us knew we wouldn't be getting in again until we had leapt off a ledge! Half an hour went by as we sidestepped the prospect of signing up, watched a few people and generally attempted to dodge the subject but eventually we all bit the bullet and paid the 100 dollar fee to make the solo jumps!

The faces above tell a story literally minutes before attempting this ridiculous idea and behind that forced smile lay a very very nervous individual. The only way I was going to make this jump was to make my peace with God.

That done I was at the edge in no time and without wishing to delay any longer decided I was going first. No-one else had an option on this but to be fair all seemed quite happy. As the kiwi boys tied the band to my ankles informing me that no-one had ever soiled themselves on their bungy I took a deep breath and looked everywhere but down. Seconds later I was at the edge (still looking to the heavens) and I heard the immortal 3,2,1 and I was off with the most rigid belly flop you have ever seen, my heart in my gob and my snippet twitching like a hungry squirrel! The first bounce saw me catapulted back into the heavens and I eventually remembered to open my eyes to find myself being tossed around like a rag doll on the end of a lassoo. To say I enjoyed the experience is questionable but by bounces 2 and 3 I was acclimatising and the relief of being alive and realisation of what I'd done allowed me to soak in the moment. I was lowered into the boat below and the awaiting kiwis declined the offer I had thrown out at them as i'd toppled over the edge. My loud cry of "F*ck me" apparently wasn't to their persuasion and relief hit me for the second time in a minute.

The after buzz was amazing and I sat back and watched the 2 Emily's and Big Si leap off afterwards. After that rafting and the skydive were tame and I now feel ready for anything. Bring on Queenstown and all it has to offer is what I say although with funds a concern I will have to be selective with my adrenaline injections.

After the bungy Skydiving was an absolute joy. With all fears erased we boarded our big gay pink plane and prepared to rise to 12000ft before popping out for a 45 second freefall and a few spins, look around the region and a nice safe landing. And that's pretty much how it panned out. Again I was first to pop out and with Reno filming me all the way down we had a good crack, enjoyed the buzz of the freefall and then took in the amazing sights of the lake and the beautiful scenery. Would recommend that you all do at least one of these and best to do it here when it only costs 80 quid!